I Cried For Many Nights Because Of A Love Lost. Crying Because Someone Almost Got Away With My Stuff. The Stuff I've Been Working On For Years. Breaking The Silence, My Journey After Self-Discovery, & Facing Fears. When I Think Of My Past Darkness...Who I Used To Be. I'm Brought To Silent Tears Because I Come From A Long Line Of Moral & Value But Yet Here I Am Losing Sight Of My Precious Gifts. My Things. My Mind. My Stuff. The Stuff Women Before Me In Africa, New Orleans, New York, & Chicago Left So One Day I Could Rise To The Very Top. The Top Of All Low Self-Worth, The Top Of Years Of Black Hurt, The Top Of Loneliness, Laziness, Black Disease, & Emotional Illness. I Need To Go Back To That Day When Men Praised The Very Shoes That Women Placed Their Feet In, The Songs I Use To Sing, & The Value Of My Music That I Use To Dance To. It's All My Stuff. My Things. My Innocence, My Voice, My Religion, & My Choice. My Stuff.
Before I Was So Caught Up In What You Think About Me & What I'm Doing & Who I See. It Hurts Me To Say This...But Re-Evaluating The Men I Used To Date...I See That I Never Gave A Damn About Me. Dating Carelessly To Fill A Void. Drinking Away My Issues To Avoid Them Smacking Me In The Face. Smacking Me So Hard To The Point Where I Can Hardly Recognize My Place. Have You Ever Woke Up One Morning & Wondered How The Hell You Got There? Went To Sleep Tossing & Turning Because You Were Drenched In Cold Fears? Well, I Have. I Been Doing It For Years.
I Always Played The Victim In Every Sick Situation. He Devastated Me, She Rejected Me, & I Don't Get The Attention That I Want Here. That Was My Excuse To Everything For Years.
I'm Sorry...I'm Sorry That Those Things Happened To Me & I'm Sorry For Feeling That Way. I'm Sorry For Letting People Take My Joy, My Happiness, My Pride, MY STUFF. I'm Sorry For Allowing Things I Couldn't Change...Get In My Way.
I Never Spoke Sorry As Many Times As I Have This Month. Sorry Because Deep Down I Know I'm Wrong For Hurting People I Love, Throwing My Issues At Everyone & Not Accepting The Facts That I Created. Neglecting My Stuff. Call Me Crazy If You Please Because I have To Cry, Yell, & Scream...But This Woman Standing Here Can't Even Recognize Her Stuff. For A Second, I Forgot Who I Was. I Forgot I Was A Child Of The Most High God...A Precious Jewel Hand Made By God. My People Were Kings & Queens From A Motherland Not Too Far Away From Here. Singing, Dancing, & Throwing Praises In The Air Because They Had Freedom, Love, & Not One Single Care. Even When Happiness Was Stolen & Hope Was Less. When Everything Was Taking & My People Had Nothing Left...They Had Themselves. See, I Can Recite All My History To Make A Point Or Tell A Story Because My Stuff Means Everything To Me. So Starting Right Now, I'm Taking All My Sorry's & Placing A Price Tag On Them. I Have Enough Issues Greeting Me At My Front Door. I'm Selling Bitterness I Have Stored That My Ex Gave Me, Sadness From The Rejection & Painful Memories, Loneliness Because I Felt Like The World Owed Me, & All Of My Sorry's Because There Ain't No More Room In Here For That Stuff. Today I'm Taking Back My Stuff!!
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